Top 10 Alice In Wonderland Insults

“You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Alice said with some severity, “It’s very rude.”

Alice endures a lot of insults as she travels through Wonderland and Looking-Glass Land. Most barbs are directed at her intellect, but looks and personality are not off limits either. Compiling a list was challenging and involved conundrums such as: is “Off with her head!” an insult? And while there is certainly a plethora of disparaging back and forth between Alice and certain characters (I’m looking at you, Mad Tea-Party participants!), our list concentrates solely on stand-alone insults you can use in your everyday life. Please enjoy this very shareable graphic of the sickest burns in the Alice books, AKA The Top 10 Alice In Wonderland Insults.

alice in wonderland insults


Or, if you would prefer the affronts in chronological order:

You don’t know much, and that’s a fact. – The Duchess, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter 6

Your hair wants cutting. – Hatter, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter 7

Really you are very dull! – The Mock Turtle, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter 9

It’s my opinion that you never think at all.  – The Rose, Through The Looking-Glass Chapter 2

I never saw anybody that looked stupider. – The Violet, Through The Looking-Glass Chapter 2

You know very well you’re not real. – Tweedledum, Through The Looking-Glass Chapter 4

You’re a little goose. – The Sheep, Through The Looking-Glass Chapter 5

You’re so exactly like other people. – Humpty Dumpty, Through The Looking-Glass Chapter 6

It’s a fabulous monster! – The Unicorn, Through The Looking-Glass Chapter 7

I daresay you’ve not had many lessons in manners yet? – The Red Queen, Through The Looking-Glass Chapter 9

We think that Humpty Dumpty dig cuts pretty low. And Hatter certainly gets his point across in an economical fashion. But for pure rudeness, you just can’t beat a talking flower. What’s your favorite of the Alice In Wonderland insults? Did we miss any corkers?


About Heather Haigha

Heather Haigha is your intrepid guide for all adventures under ground, through the looking glass, down the rabbit hole and sometimes even real life! Read her whimsical musings on the Alice Is Everywhere blog, and hear the melodious sound of her voice on the Alice is Everywhere podcast.